Some people like jobs that involve a lot of activities outside the office. Other people would rather
학생이 쓴 원문
I like a job that requires workings in the office rather than working outside. I am quite good at analyzing, planning, and developing strategies and action plans to resolve problems. I pay great attention to details and hold myself accountable for what I do. Once I start something, I devote myself fully to finish it because I can’t tolerate something remains incomplete. I never give up. I am a hard worker. In addition, I prefer to work independently rather than working in a team. I am a self-starter and can manage my tasks without big support or guidance from others. However, I do not like extremes. Sitting in front of a computer and using a brain all day will make me exhausted and cause a lot of physical problems. It will be nice to mix it up. So, even if we have a desk job, we need to stand up and stretch our body every hour or hour and half. Actually I am still suffering from lumbar disc disease that I had because I used to work 4 to 5 hours straight sitting at a desk.
강사 첨삭
Hello there Sir [이름] ^^
Thank you so much for allotting some time to do your essay.
Me too! Hihihihi. I prefer working in the office.
I don\'t want my skin to turn dark. Hihihihi. Just kidding. ^^
I prefer staying in the office, I think I can\'t handle field work.
How was your weekend?
Did you have something special with your family?
I am excited to have a class with you.
Take care.
Teacher Nina
I like a job that requires workings in the office rather than working outside.
>> Better: I like a job that requires tasks in the office rather than working outside.
I am quite good at analyzing, planning, and developing strategies and action plans to resolve problems.
>> correct
>> OR: I am quite good at analyzing, planning, developing strategies and action plans to resolve problems.
I pay great attention to details and hold myself accountable for what I do.
>> correct
Once I start something, I devote myself fully to finish it because I can’t tolerate something remains incomplete.
>> correct
I never give up.
>> correct
I am a hard worker.
>> correct
>> OR: I am a hardworking person.
In addition, I prefer to work independently rather than working in a team.
>> correct
I am a self-starter and can manage my tasks without big support or guidance from others.
>> correct
>> OR: I am a self-starter and can manage my tasks without a lot of support or guidance from others.
However, I do not like extremes.
>> correct
Sitting in front of a computer and using a brain all day will make me exhausted and cause a lot of physical problems.
>> Better: Sitting in front of a computer, using the brain all day will make me exhausted and cause a lot of physical problems.
It will be nice to mix it up.
>> correct
So, even if we have a desk job, we need to stand up and stretch our body every hour or hour and half.
>> correct
Actually I am still suffering from lumbar disc disease that I had because I used to work 4 to 5 hours straight sitting at a desk.
>> Better: Actually, I am still suffering from lumbar disc disease that I had because I used to work 4 to 5 hours straight sitting on my desk.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.