Some people prefer hobbies that require technology, whereas others prefer hobbies that do not requir
학생이 쓴 원문
Some people prefer to do physical activities as their hobbies, on the other hand many people love to use technology whenever they have free time. I accord with the first view as people are already surrounded by these machines in their daily routine. Enjoying hobbies without the usage of technology has a plenty of benefits. Firstly, people can unwind themselves by doing different activities which help them to stay fit. Second, it help us avoid neurological disease such as dementia and depression. Finally, we can socialize with many people on site whereas socialization online is untact based meeting. Some people can insist to the strongest advantage using technology for hobbies. It definitely help to do some activities like smart watch which analyze the amount of exercise. However, we can do any activities without technologies. These devices can\'t be essential for our live but It can boast our convenience. In conclusion, I prefer to do work out instead of doing something with techno
강사 첨삭
Hi there Mr. [이름]~! ^^ Thanks for the discussion today! Have a great weekend!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Some people prefer to do physical activities as their hobbies, on the other hand many people love to use technology whenever they have free time.
>>> CORRECT
I accord with the first view as people are already surrounded by these machines in their daily routine.
>>> CORRECT
Enjoying hobbies without the usage of technology has plenty of benefits.
>>> CORRECT
Firstly, people can unwind themselves by doing different activities which help them to stay fit.
>>> CORRECT
Second, it helps us avoid neurological disease such as dementia and depression.
>>> CORRECT
Finally, we can socialize with many people on site whereas socialization online is unfact based meeting.
>>> CORRECT
Some people can insist to the strongest advantage using technology for hobbies.
>>> CORRECT
It definitely helps to do some activities like smart watch which analyze the amount of exercise.
>>> CORRECT
However, we can do any activities without technologies.
>>> CORRECT
These devices can\'t be essential for our live but it can boast our convenience.
>>> CORRECT
In conclusion, I prefer to do work out instead of doing something with technology.
>>> CORRECT
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