Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think a
학생이 쓴 원문
I have read the book of which title was 4th industrial revolution. It describe advantages and risk that we might face in the near future. Many issues have been addressed since we used the internet. There was a sexual assault video in Korea. Criminals collected personal information through various way and used it to threaten victims and then asked them to send naked photo or video, if they didn\'t accept criminals\'s request, they would be threatened by sending their personal weakness to their family or friends or uploading it to SNS. This incident can be the representative example on disadvantage of internet usage. In addition, people always check their smart that cause absence of conversation. It is really difficult for me talk with young generation, because they tend to find solution on the website rather than discuss it with people. That makes me upset, so I don\'t want to meet anyone who love using smartphone. However, There are a lot of advantages on using internet if we use it cor
강사 첨삭
Good morning MR. [이름]~ Grateful Monday to the both of us! I hope that you had a refreshing weekend. Anyway, it\'s a new week and let\'s get the most out of it! Thanks for doing your homework! You must have been practicing. Superb!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I have read the book of which title was 4th industrial revolution.
>>> I have read a book which is entitled 4th Industrial Revolution.
It describe advantages and risk that we might face in the near future.
>>> It describes the advantages and risk that we might face in the near future.
Many issues have been addressed since we used the internet.
>>> CORRECT
There was a sexual assault video in Korea.
>>> CORRECT
Criminals collected personal information through various way and used it to threaten victims and then asked them to send naked photo or video, if they didn\'t accept criminals\'s request, they would be threatened by sending their personal weakness to their family or friends or uploading it to SNS.
>>> Criminals collected personal information through various ways and used them to threaten victims and then asked them to send naked photos or videos, if they didn\'t accept criminals\'s request, they would be threatened by sending their personal weakness to their family or friends or uploading them on SNS.
This incident can be the representative example on disadvantages of internet usage.
>>> CORRECT
In addition, people always check their smart that cause absence of conversation.
>>> In addition, people always check on their smartphones that causes the absence of conversation.
It is really difficult for me talk with young generation, because they tend to find solution on the website rather than discuss it with people.
>>> It is really difficult for me to talk with young generations, because they tend to find solutions on the website rather than discussing it with people.
That makes me upset, so I don\'t want to meet anyone who loves using smartphone.
>>> CORRECT
However, there are a lot of advantages on using internet if we use it correctly.
>>> CORRECT
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