Some people think that facing challenges improves a person. I do agree with them.
학생이 쓴 원문
I have been experiencing many different kinds of things to manage and overcome to move forward in my life.
Specially, to make successful careers at my work, I had to clear out piles of works like the mountain within limited time
and resolve many tricky obstacles smoothly and at the same time I also had to make the achievements that could be compared with others. All these can be described as challenges to me at the time.
Even though all the situation were very tough and hard to deal with, however once I got over them and made them happened for me,
I could realize myself that all the challenges made me experienced and improved more and better.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
Great job today!
Please take note of some of the patterns I have changed below.
There are also some common expressions that could help you in your future work.
Writing in a direct and clear manner is always the best so practice that style.
I\'ll talk to you later.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I have been experiencing many different kinds of things to manage and overcome to move forward in my life.
>> Correct
Specially, to make successful careers at my work, I had to clear out piles of works like the mountain within limited time
Specially, to make successful careers at my work, I had to clear out piles of works like the mountain within limited time
>> Specifically, to build a successful career at work, I had to clear out piles of work as high as a mountain within limited time.
and resolve many tricky obstacles smoothly and at the same time I also had to make the achievements that could be compared with others.
and resolve many tricky obstacles smoothly and at the same time I also had to make the achievements that could be compared with others.
>> I also need to resolve many tricky obstacles smoothly and at the same time I also had to get achievements that could compare with others.
All these can be described as challenges to me at the time.
>> Correct
Even though all the situation were very tough and hard to deal with, however once I got over them and made them happened for me,
Even though all the situation were very tough and hard to deal with, however once I got over them and made them happened for me,
>> Even though all the situations were very tough and hard to deal with, I got over them and made them work to my advantage.
I could realize myself that all the challenges made me experienced and improved more and better.
I could realize myself that all the challenges made me experienced and improved more and better.
>> I could realize myself that all the challenges made me experienced and helped me improve to become a better individual.
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