Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that peopl

2020-10-28 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

I think that job satisfaction is more import than job security because if I don\'t satisfy my job, I don\'t want to work in the same company for a long time and I can\'t keep the close relationship with my colleagues. However, there are quite large gap between what I like and what I can do. It has been long time that we encounter difficulties to get a job. So, people tend to apply for jobs as possible as they can do. I have submitted my CV to more than 20 companies. It cause that people tend to apply for the comfort job which might not have the possibility to be fired until they retire, such as public servants. I think that the education system effect a lot to students because there weren\'t anybody who had a strong dream among my friends when I was young. Teachers and people who are related in the education have to try finding students\'s dream by providing the proper way of education. I think school should be the light to shine students\'s bright future. If not we can\'t follow our dream

강사 첨삭

Thank you Mr. [이름] for doing your homework~! ^^ Keep going and keep improving! Enjoy the rest of the day!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think that job satisfaction is more import than job security because if I don\'t satisfy my job, I don\'t want to work in the same company for a long time and I can\'t keep the close relationship with my colleagues.
>>> I think that job satisfaction is more import than job security because if I\'m not satisfied with my job, I don\'t want to work in the same company for a long time and I can\'t keep the close relationship with my colleagues.
 However, there is a large gap between what I like and what I can do. 
>>> CORRECT
It has been long time that we encounter difficulties to get a job.
>>> It has been a long time that we encountered difficulties to get a job.
 So, people tend to apply for jobs as possible as they can do.
>>>  So, people tend to apply for jobs as much as possible. 
 I have submitted my CV to more than 20 companies.
>>> CORRECT
 It cause that people tend to apply for the comfort job which might not have the possibility to be fired until they retire, such as public servants.
>>>  It caused the people to apply for the comfort a job that may be stable such as public servants.
 I think that the education system effect a lot to students because there weren\'t anybody who had a strong dream among my friends when I was young. 
>>>  I think that the education system affect the students a lot because nobody had a strong dream among my friends when I was young. 
Teachers and people who are related in the education have to try finding students\'s dream by providing the proper way of education. 
>>> Teachers and people who are into education have to try finding their dreams by providing the proper way of education. 
I think school should be the light to shine students\' bright future.
>>>  I think, schools should be the light to shine students\' brighter future.
 If not we can\'t follow our dream...
>>> CORRECT

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