Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, others think that

2020-12-04 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

I think that zoos exist only for fun to the people. I don\'t think there are any positive effect to maintain zoos. Some people insist that it protect the animals which might disappear from our world due to hunting and natural reason. There are many animals which have had difficulties to live in nature but I think it is not right way to protect animals in the zoos. Because the environment they used to live is totally different and huge people visit there everyday to enjoy seeing animals. It make animals stressful. Some people say that zoo should be built for education purpose. However, we already have a lot of educational material such as photos and its figures. I agree that seeing something is totally different with not seeing. But if we consider animals as human\'s partner in life, we shouldn\'t treat them like that. Humans must respect its life and have to think in other\'s shoes.

강사 첨삭

Hi Mr. [이름]~! ^^ You have an active and constant role in your learning. It may not always seem like it, but you’re in control of your own success in writing. Keep going~! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think that zoos exist only for fun to the people. 
>>> I think that zoos exist only for people\'s entertainment. 
I don\'t think there are any positive effects to maintain all the zoos.
>>> CORRECT
 Some people insist that it protects the animals which might disappear from our world due to hunting and natural reason. 
>>> CORRECT
There are many animals which have had difficulties to live in nature but I think it is not the right way to protect animals in the zoos.
>>> CORRECT
 Because the environment they used to live is totally different and huge people visit there everyday to enjoy seeing animals.
>>> CORRECT
 It make animals stressful.
>>> CORRECT
 Some people say that zoo should be built for education purposes.
>>> CORRECT
 However, we already have a lot of educational material such as photos and its figures.
>>> CORRECT
 I agree that seeing something is totally different with not seeing them. 
>>> CORRECT
But if we consider animals as human\'s partners in life, we shouldn\'t treat them that way.
>>> CORRECT
 Humans must respect its life and have to think in other\'s shoes.
>>> CORRECT

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