Some psychologists think that the best way to overcome stress of everyday life is to spend a portion

2020-09-28 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

I don\'t agree with the idea of psychologists because I feel more stressful if I don\'t do anything. I usually go out and do exercise what makes me to sweat such as running, riding bicycle and play sports with people. If I don\'t have enough time to do exercise, I drink an alcohol at home. It help me relive my stress. The more important thing is how we don\'t get stressed. To relieve stress is important factor but I think that we would better learning not to get stressed. I think one of the major factor to get stressed is social relationship. People tend to be happy and to be hurt from humans. So, to keep healthy relationship with people is the key factor for healthy life.

강사 첨삭

Hi there ~! ^^ Mr. [이름]! Thanks for always doing your essay! Your effort is always appreciated! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I don\'t agree with the idea of some psychologists because I feel more stressful if I don\'t do anything.
>>> CORRECT
 I usually go out and do exercise what makes me to sweat such as running, riding bicycle and play sports with people. 
>>>  I usually go out and do exercises which make me sweat such as running, riding the bicycle and playing sports with people. 
If I don\'t have enough time to exercise, I drink alcohol at home. 
>>> CORRECT
It help me relive my stress. 
>>> It helps me relieve my stress. 
The more important thing is how we don\'t get stressed. 
>>> The most important thing is how we don\'t get stressed. 
To relieve stress is important factor but I think that we would better learning not to get stressed.
>>> To relieve stress is very important factor but I think  we would better learn not to get stressed.
 I think one of the major factors to get stressed is social relationship. 
>>> CORRECT
People tend to be happy and to hurt by humans. 
>>> CORRECT
So, to keep a healthy relationship with people is the key factor for a healthy life.
>>> CORRECT

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