Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things.

2021-03-02 · 첨삭 강사 Donna

학생이 쓴 원문

Some people say space exploration is much too expensive and they want to spend money on more important things. Space is unknown world although people have studied for a long time. We don\'t know how many possibilities are in space but we discovered that there is hope for human. The earth has been run out its resources for a long time. Besides, human have destroyed earth steadily such as deforestation, ozone despoil, global warming, pollution, and diseases and so on. If these phenomena are going on, human will be in danger to exist. In that sense, scientists have been interested in space and studied for a long period which is to find a new planet where human can live. Space is totally different kind of dimension. We can\'t sure anything what human needs to survive especially watery past and air for breathing. It is the reason that space exploration is dangerous and costs much money. However, I strongly believe this is indispensible work not only for curiosity but also for human being.

강사 첨삭

Hello Young Won!

Wow! This is a well done IELTS answer to start with. I am glad that you were able to comply with this written task so you can get the hang of it.

I think that you did an excellent job!

See you tomorrow.

-T. Donna =)

Some people say space exploration is much too expensive and they want to spend money on more important things. 
>> Correct!

Space is unknown world although people have studied for a long time. 
>> Space is an unknown world although people have studied it for a long time. 

We don\'t know how many possibilities are in space but we discovered that there is hope for human.
>> Correct!

The earth has been run out its resources for a long time. Besides, human have destroyed earth steadily such as deforestation, ozone despoil, global warming, pollution, and diseases and so on. If these phenomena are going on, human will be in danger to exist.
>> The earth has been run out of its resources for a long time. Besides, humans have destroyed earth steadily such as deforestation, ozone despoil, global warming, pollution, diseases and so on. If these phenomena go on, humans will be in danger of existence.

In that sense, scientists have been interested in space and studied for a long period which is to find a new planet where human can live. 
>> Correct!
Or: In that sense, scientists have been interested in space and studied it for a long period which is to find a new planet where human beings can live. 

Space is totally different kind of dimension. We can\'t sure anything what human needs to survive especially watery past and air for breathing. 
>> Space is a totally different kind of dimension. We can\'t be sure of anything on what humans need to survive especially on a watery past and air for breathing. 

It is the reason that space exploration is dangerous and costs much money. However, I strongly believe this is indispensible work not only for curiosity but also for human being.
>> Correct!
Or: It is for these reasons that space exploration is dangerous and costs much money. However, I strongly believe this is indispensable work not only for curiosity but also for human beings.

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