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2024-01-25 · 첨삭 강사 Aki

학생이 쓴 원문

The aging society is no longer a blessing. Aging is natural for human and dying creates a good cycle for ecosystem. The human lifespan become too long , eventually this is misfortune of mankind. What can we do at 90 for society? We will exist a meaningless living being. I hope medical studies and pharmaceutical companies stop encouraging human greed and anxiety.

강사 첨삭

Ms. [이름], 
Based on your response to the homework, you do not agree with what pharmaceutical companies have been creating to extend and probably avoid premature aging. you have a very good point and I was convinced that instead of focusing too much on the old generation, we have to find more ways to continue the existing generation.
Have a good day!
Aki~

The aging society is no longer a blessing.
>>> CORRECT!

Aging is natural for human and dying creates a good cycle for ecosystem.
>>> Aging is natural for humans and dying creates a good cycle for the ecosystem.

The human lifespan become too long , eventually this is misfortune of mankind.
>>> The human lifespan becomes too long, eventually, this is a misfortune for mankind.

What can we do at 90 for society?
>>> CORRECT!

We will exist a meaningless living being.
>>> We will exist as a meaningless living being.

I hope medical studies and pharmaceutical companies stop encouraging human greed and anxiety.
>>> CORRECT!

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