summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where r

Hi Su-Jin! Check below for the corrections I made on your work. Have a good day!

At first, total number of visitors during the year before remodeling are lower than after construction.

>>Firstly, the  total number of visitors during the year before remodeling is lower than after the museum\'s reconstruction/refurbishment.

The differences between two chart can also explain this phenomenon deeply.

>>The differences between the two charts can also explain this phenomenon better.
In the first graph, of visitor\'s satisfaction which was surveyed from past, people almost felt dissatisfaction in there and this group with the rate of 40%.

>>In the first graph, the visitor\'s satisfaction, which was surveyed from the past, most of the people felt dissatisfied because the rate of dissatisfaction is 40%.

>>OR: The first graph shows the result of the satisfaction survey before the year of the refurbishment. It shows that 40% of the people surveyed were dissatisfied.

It is very remarkable that the dissatisfaction group is higher than good one with the rate of 30%.

>>It is very remarkable to note that those who were dissatisfied are higher in number than those who were very dissatisfied at 30%. (Please check on the chart again, the 30% shows \"very dissatisfied\".)
However, after refurbishment, people are more satisfied or extremely happy from the museum and their rates are almost equal.

>>However, after the refurbishment, more people are satisfied or are extremely happy about the changes in the museum such that 40% of them were satisfied which is  the same percentage as those who were dissatisfied in the past.

These results are very contrasted by each other.

>>These results show a complete contrast between each other.
The most conspicuous change is the group which contain the people who have bad feeling about the museum.

>>The most conspicuous change is the group which contains the number of people who had a bad feeling about the museum.

The rates diminished almost two times so that\'s the rate of 15%.

>>The rates diminished up to almost two times which is at the rate of 15%.
Decorating there with newly products or contents is a decent decision for both the museum and customers.

>>Decorating it with new products and contents is a decent decision for both the museum and customers.

Hometown foods are the best for me.

>> Food from my hometown are the best for me.

I think most people think like me but I respect other\'s taste.

>>I think most people think the same way I do but I still respect other people\'s taste.