Summary 2

2014-07-03 · 첨삭 강사 Kathrine

학생이 쓴 원문

So, The Korean government has been trying to boost the nation’s low birthrate through various measures now. In my opinion, the leave incentive will be a good measure to overcome low birthrate. But, Unfortunately, The paternity leave can be used only in a public institution It is very difficult to get the paternity leave in private enterprise. If someone takes a one year paternity leave, He will be laid off after return. My conclusion is that “What a brave man is”

강사 첨삭

Hello again Mr. [Name]!
And here is the continuation of my corrections too.
You pointed out your thoughts very well so god job!
See you next time!

Always,
Kathrine ^^

So, The Korean government has been trying to boost the nation’s low birthrate through various measures now.
>>  correct!
In my opinion, the leave incentive will be a good measure to overcome low birthrate.

>>  correct!
But, Unfortunately, The paternity leave can be used only in a public institution

>>  But, unfortunately, paternity leave can only be used by public institutions. 
It is very difficult to get the paternity leave in private enterprise.

>>  It is very difficult to get a paternity leave in private enterprises.
If someone takes a one year paternity leave, He will be laid off after return.

>>  If someone takes a/one year paternity leave, he will be laid off after he returns.
My conclusion is that “What a brave man is”

>>  My conclusion is that, what a brave man is he!

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