Surf

One thing I’ve always wanted to try is learning how to surf. Every summer, I watch people riding waves so confidently and they look so free. I always imagine myself doing it too, but I never had the courage to try. I’m scared that I will fall and look stupid in front of strangers. Still, I hope that one day I will finally stand on a surfboard and surf across the ocean.

Hi Jenny,

Your writing is really nice to read! I can feel how much you want to experience surfing — your sentences show both your excitement and your fear in a very natural way. Great job expressing your thoughts clearly!

~Teacher Cathy

 

One thing I’ve always wanted to try is learning how to surf.

>>CORRECT

OR>> I’ve always wanted to learn how to surf.

Every summer, I watch people riding waves so confidently and they look so free.

>>Every summer, I watch people ride the waves so confidently, and they look so free.

OR>> Every summer, I see surfers riding the waves with such confidence and freedom.

I always imagine myself doing it too, but I never had the courage to try.

>>I always imagine myself doing it too, but I’ve never had the courage to try.

OR>> I often picture myself surfing, but I haven’t found the courage to do it yet.

I’m scared that I will fall and look stupid in front of strangers.

>>I’m scared that I might fall and look silly in front of strangers.

OR>> I’m afraid of falling and embarrassing myself in front of others.

Still, I hope that one day I will finally stand on a surfboard and surf across the ocean.

>>CORRECT

OR>> Someday, I hope I can finally stand on a surfboard and ride the waves across the ocean.