Task 1

2020-07-03 · 첨삭 강사 Jasper

학생이 쓴 원문

To Whom It May Concern I went to your restaurant last month with my family. It was our youngest son\'s birthday, so we wanted to celebrate it. Food and service we got were great, but unfortunately, you charged me too much. I ordered the salmon salad, my wife got chicken pasta, and our sons ate pizza and salad combo together. We drank only water. It was supposed to be 72 bucks, but unfortunately, I found on my credit card statement showing that it was charged twice. Would you mind letting me know when I can get a refund of one of payment? If you want, you would call my office by 1-[계좌번호] anytime from Monday to Friday between 9 a.m to 5 p.m. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Ms. S Jin

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]~ 
Thank you for your composition. Great job on composing. 

Here are your corrections:

To Whom It May Concern

I went to your restaurant last month with my family. It was our youngest son\'s birthday, so we wanted to celebrate it. Food and service we got were great, but unfortunately, you charged me too much.
>> CORRECT
OR
>> Good day! My name is [이름] Jin. My family of four went to your restaurant last month on June 15, 2020. It was my youngest son\'s birthday and we decided to celebrate it at your restaurant. The food and services you provided were great.

**Make sure to at least introduce yourself at the beginning of your email. It\'s true that it was not asked in the question but it is a courtesy to introduce yourself first most especially in formal letters/mail.

I ordered the salmon salad, my wife got chicken pasta, and our sons ate pizza and salad combo together. We drank only water. It was supposed to be 72 bucks, but unfortunately, I found on my credit card statement showing that it was charged twice.
>> We ordered salmon salad, chicken pasta, and pizza with salad for my sons. We didn\'t order any drinks for our food. It was supposed to be 72 dollars but unfortunately upon checking my credit card statement, it showed that we were charged twice the amount that we should have paid. 

It is more appropriate to use the word dollar than buck when it comes to formal letters or emails.

Would you mind letting me know when I can get a refund of one of payment? If you want, you would call my office by 1-[계좌번호] anytime from Monday to Friday between 9 a.m to 5 p.m.
>> I would like to request for a refund. If you wish to pay it in cash, please send it via mail to (address) as the address of the receiver. However, if you wish to send it electronically, then please send it through PayPal. If you have any clarifications regarding my request, please call 1-[계좌번호] anytime from Monday to Friday between 9 a.m and 5 p.m.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.
>> CORRECT

Ms. S Jin

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