task1.3
학생이 쓴 원문
Hi Mary
As you know, family day is coming ahead. I have an idea of what we can do together to enjoy that day. Why don’t we go apple picking?
There is the apple farm where people can pick up their own apple at the north of Toronto, Ontario. That place is easily accessible by a car or subway. I visited last year with my friends and it took 40 minute by our own car. There are no admission fee and the price of apples which was 3 dollars per kilogram were even cheaper than buying at the grocery store.
There are several reasons why we should do the apple picking. First, all family members love an apple. Especially, mom loves to make an apple pie. Second, there are a lot of fun activities for children such as a huge playground. I believe our children will love it.
Give me a call so we can discuss further.
Love
[이름]
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]. You didn\'t send me the question so I will just correct grammatical errors for the mean time.
Here are your corrections:
As you know, family day is coming ahead.
>> As you know, Family Day is coming.
OR
>> As you know, Family Day is just around the corner.
>> As you know, Family Day is just around the corner.
I have an idea of what we can do together to enjoy that day.
>> I have an idea on what we can do together to enjoy that day.
Why don’t we go apple picking?
>> CORRECT
OR
>> Isn\'t it good to do apple picking?
There is the apple farm where people can pick up their own apple at the north of Toronto, Ontario.
>> There is this apple farm where people can pick their own apple. It\'s in the north of Toronto, Ontario.
That place is easily accessible by a car or subway.
>> That place is accessible by either a car or subway.
I visited last year with my friends and it took 40 minute by our own car.
>> I visited there last year with my friends and it only took us 40 minutes by car.
There are no admission fee and the price of apples which was 3 dollars per kilogram were even cheaper than buying at the grocery store.
>> There are no admission fees and the price of the apples which is 3 dollars per kilogram is cheaper than the ones they sell at grocery stores.
>> CORRECT
First, all family members love an apple.
>> One, all family members love apples.
Especially, mom loves to make an apple pie.
>> CORRECT
Second, there are a lot of fun activities for children such as a huge playground.
>> And two, there are a lot of fun activities for our children to enjoy such as a huge playground.
I believe our children will love it.
>> CORRECT
>> CORRECT
Love
[이름]
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