task1:You saw a job listing in a newspaper ad that you would like to apply for Write a letter to th
학생이 쓴 원문
Dear Sir/Madam,
I would like to apply for a cabin crew position advertised in Korean Times. My name is [이름] Choi and I am very interested in being a cabin crew in your company. Because I like to meet many people who have different characters and nationality. In addition, I love to help other people./Actually, I am a nurse and have two years experience working in hospital. So I am able to provide First Aid in an emergency. As you know, there are not allowed to receive professional medical care on a plane in short time. Therefore I would be an important role during that situation. And I also have many service experiences such as selling wines and handlingcomplaints in a call center/Currently, I am working at an international company as an infirmary nurse. I usually manage to improve our employees’ health and make the firm healthier workplace. As you can see from my enclosed resume, my working experience and qualification match this position’s requirment.
Thank you for your time and co
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름].
Here are my corrections.
I would like to apply for a cabin crew position advertised in Korean Times. My name is [이름] Choi and I am very interested in being a cabin crew in your company.
>>I would like to apply as a cabin crew position advertised in Korean Times. My name is [이름] Choi and I am very interested in being a cabin crew in your company.
Because I like to meet many people who have different characters and nationality. In addition, I love to help other people.
>>Because I like to meet many people who have different characters and nationalities. In addition, I love to help other people.
Actually, I am a nurse and have two years experience working in hospital. So I am able to provide First Aid in an emergency.
>>Actually, I am a nurse and have two years experience working in the hospital. So, I am able to provide First Aid in an emergency.
As you know, there are not allowed to receive professional medical care on a plane in short time. Therefore I would be an important role during that situation.
>>As you know, they are not allowed to receive professional medical care on a plane in a short time. Therefore, I would play an important role during that situation.
And I also have many service experiences such as selling wines and handlingcomplaints in a call center/Currently, I am working at an international company as an infirmary nurse.
>>And I also have many service experiences such as selling wines and handling complaints to a call center. Currently, I am working at an international company as an infirmary nurse.
I usually manage to improve our employees’ health and make the firm healthier workplace. As you can see from my enclosed resume, my working experience and qualification match this position’s requirment.
>>I usually manage to improve our employees’ health and make the firm a healthier workplace. As you can see from my enclosed resume, my working experiences and qualifications match this position’s requirements.
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