Tell me your self

2019-11-04 · 첨삭 강사 Annie

학생이 쓴 원문

I have majored in finance and investment at Shanghai University of Finance and Economics. And until recently, I have worked as a Business Development Analyst at a Chinese global R&D semiconductor company called Celfras. I had been initially taking charge of the accounting and finance planning part while I was working there, and in the process, my interest grew towards the field of data. So, I had a chance to work on a project on data with the doctors from Seoul National University. While fulfilling my duties at Celfras, I decided that it would be better for me to build my career about Fintech, which is the combination of finance and big data. As such, I have been preparing to become a CFA charter holder, and I am planning to take the test in this December. In addition, I have been studying about the algorithms, such as Machine Learning and Deep Learning, as well as working on projects on the area at Fast Campus team, in order to make myself grow more in the data field.

강사 첨삭


Hello [이름] [이름],

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 
Keep up the good work!

Nice to meet you Daniel. Hope to have a great time with you while studying English. ^^

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Tell me something about you.

I have majored in finance and investment at Shanghai University of Finance and Economics.
>>> CORRECT

And until recently, I have worked as a Business Development Analyst at a Chinese global R&D semiconductor company called Celfras.
>>> CORRECT

I had been initially taking charge of the accounting and finance planning part while I was working there, and in the process, my interest grew towards the field of data. 
>>> I had been initially taking charge of the accounting and finance planning while I was working there, and in the process, my interest grew towards the field of data. 

So, I had a chance to work on a project on data with the doctors from Seoul National University.
>>> So, I had a chance to work on a project regarding on data with the doctors from Seoul National University.

While fulfilling my duties at Celfras, I decided that it would be better for me to build my career about Fintech, which is the combination of finance and big data. 
>>> CORRECT

As such, I have been preparing to become a CFA charter holder, and I am planning to take the test in this December. 
>>> CORRECT

In addition, I have been studying about the algorithms, such as Machine Learning and Deep Learning, as well as working on projects on the area at Fast Campus team, in order to make myself grow more in the data field.
>>> CORRECT

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