The aim of university
학생이 쓴 원문
Thank you for correcting always.
강사 첨삭
Hi Ye [이름]!
I commend the length and clarity of sentences.
One or two statements are a bit too long but it\'s still an improvement.
Pleas take note of the use of articles, prepositions and terms.
Review and ask me questions whenever you need to clarify something.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
These days, the level of education is higher than before. >> Correct
Everyone expect to go university after secondary
school since there are more benefits to get jobs.
>> Everyone expects to go to a university after secondary school since there are more benefits for getting jobs.
However, there are voices about graduating university has
positive effects beyond of getting job.
>> However, there are views about graduating from a university having positive effects beyond getting jobs.
This essay will discuss the two opinions and I would express my
opinion as well.
>> Correct
The people who think that graduating university has only the benefit of getting job believe that most
companies hire people who have the certificate of university.
>> The people who think that graduating from a university has only the benefit of getting a job believe that most companies hire people who have a diploma.
Moreover, the former do not think there is no
meaning of higher education in university.
>> Moreover, the former do not think that there is meaning of getting higher education in a university.
Therefore, university has the meaning of the course for getting
job.
>> Therefore, universities are only a means to get a job.
However, the others have different ideas.
>> However, others have different ideas.
They think that going to university has many benefits beyond
getting job.
>> They think that going to a university has many benefits other than getting a job.
For instance, students can learn more higher education about specific parts.
>> For instance, students can acquire higher education in specific fields.
Thus, they can be
specialists after graduating their universities.
>> Thus, they can be specialists after graduating from college.
Furthermore, students can have various relationships when
they study in university such as friends, tutors, professors and so on.
>> Furthermore, students can have various relationships when they study in a university such as friends, tutors, professors and so on.
Learning higher education also
includes of meaning about learning the identity of specific of jobs and different universities.
>> Getting higher education also means learning about specific jobs and different universities.
It can be
sources for students how they can have mind and thoughts in workplaces.
>> It can be sources for students to get an idea of a workplace environment.
In conclusion, I believe that studying in university has many meanings and positive effects in our lives.
>> In conclusion, I believe that studying in a university has many meanings and positive effects in our lives.
It
is not just for getting job but also for our knowledge and understanding of detailed field.
>> It is not just for getting jobs but also for our knowledge and understanding of a particular field.
Therefore, it is
very important to people who want to know about the specific knowledge and information of the field where
they want to be hired.
>> Therefore, it is very important for people who want to know about the specific knowledge and information of the field where they want to be hired.
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