The best place in my city

2022-04-20 · 첨삭 강사 Faith

학생이 쓴 원문

I live in Ulsan, Korea and I have lived here since I was born. I think I am pretty proud of my city, Ulsan and thus I\\\'m happy with my life staying here. Your question made me think about the places that I find comfortable and interesting. looking back on my memories of my city, I remember inviting my friends from other cities to my hometown. Whenever I invited my friends here, I used to take them to almost the same places all the time. Above all, I took them to the area called \\\'Samsan\\\' and there is a lot to see, enjoy and experience there. For example, The restaurants over there do have whatever menu we want to eat. I can just pick and grab something tasty as long as I have enough money. :) Plus, We can enjoy shopping or watching movies and There are lots of pretty cafes and cool pubs. There is also a Ferris Whee on the top floor of the department store and I always ride it with my friends. All of my friends really enjoyed riding it because we could see a great night view.

강사 첨삭

Incredible, Elena! I am impressed by your writing. Most of the sentences and grammatically correct. I was also able to picture out your city through your answer. Keep it up!-Faith-
I live in Ulsan, Korea and I have lived here since I was born.
>> CORRECT
OR I was born and raised in Ulsan, Korea.
I think I am pretty proud of my city, Ulsan and thus I\\\'m happy with my life staying here.
>> I think I am pretty proud of my city, Ulsan and thus I\'m happy with my life staying here.
Your question made me think about the places that I find comfortable and interesting.
>> CORRECT
looking back on my memories of my city, I remember inviting my friends from other cities to my hometown.
>> Looking back on my memories of my city, I remember inviting my friends from other cities to my hometown.
Whenever I invited my friends here, I used to take them to almost the same places all the time.
>> CORRECT
OR We would usually tour the same places.
Above all, I took them to the area called \\\'Samsan\\\' and there is a lot to see, enjoy and experience there.
>> Above all, I took them to the area called \'Samsan\' and there is a lot to see, enjoy and experience there.
For example, The restaurants over there do have whatever menu we want to eat.
>> For example, the restaurants over there do have whatever menu we want to eat.
I can just pick and grab something tasty as long as I have enough money. :)
>> CORRECT
Plus, We can enjoy shopping or watching movies and There are lots of pretty cafes and cool pubs.
>> Plus, we can enjoy shopping or watching movies and there are lots of pretty cafes and cool pubs.
There is also a Ferris Whee on the top floor of the department store and I always ride it with my friends.
>> There is also a Ferris Wheel on the top floor of the department store and I always ride it with my friends.
All of my friends really enjoyed riding it because we could see a great night view.
>> CORRECT
OR We always had fun on it because it showed us a fantastic night view.

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