The best place to raise a family

2024-03-19 · 첨삭 강사 Khai

학생이 쓴 원문

I think \'sweet home\' is the best place to raise a family. Because some children will don\'t come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family. And some elder people will feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter\'s home. I want to prescribe a \'sweet home\' that family members feel \'comfortable\' when they come back home. I raised in this \'sweet home\', so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job. Also my brother got healthy after he quitted his job and came back home. He had lived alone because of his job. At that time, he got a hair loss and skin problem. Therefore, the best place to rasie a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they\'re in home.

강사 첨삭

You have written a meaningful answer, [이름]. ^^ I agree that the best place to raise a family is our \"sweet home\".
-Khai

I think \'sweet home\' is the best place to raise a family.

>> I think “sweet home” is the best place to raise a family.

Because some children will don\'t come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family.

>> It is because some children may not come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family.

And some elder people will feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter\'s home.

>> Some elderly people will also feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter\'s home.

I want to prescribe a \'sweet home\' that family members feel \'comfortable\' when they come back home.

>> I want to recommend a “sweet home” where family members feel “comfortable” when they come back home.

I raised in this \'sweet home\', so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job.

>> I was raised in this “sweet home”, so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job.

Also my brother got healthy after he quitted his job and came back home.

>> CORRECT

He had lived alone because of his job.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> Before, he lived alone because of his job.

At that time, he got a hair loss and skin problem.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> During that time, he had hair loss and skin problems.

Therefore, the best place to rasie a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they\'re in home.

>> Therefore, the best place to raise a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they\'re at home.


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