The best thing of our country

2021-06-16 · 첨삭 강사 Sharon

학생이 쓴 원문

At first, our county has many beautiful mountains , long rivers and distinctive four seasons. There are very active walking people that it has the famous department stores, around the Meayng Dong streets and the Dongdaemoon Market n Seoul. So, it has a wonderful sea port, cheaper fish market and the biggest one of our country\'s export port in Pusan

강사 첨삭

Hi Mr. [이름]!
This is a simple expression of your ideas.
However, you did a great job!
I hope you can continue working hard.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
At first, our county has many beautiful mountains , long rivers and distinctive four seasons.
>> First, our country has many beautiful mountains, long rivers and distinctive four seasons.
There are very active walking people that it has the famous department stores, around the Meayng Dong streets and the Dongdaemoon Market n Seoul. 
>> There are active and busy places where people could walk around like Myeongdong street and Dongdeamun market in Seoul.
So, it has a wonderful sea port, cheaper fish market and the biggest one of our country\'s export port in Pusan
>> We also have a wonderful sea port, cheap fish market, and our biggest export point is in Busan. 

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