the death penalty would prevent crime in your country?

Good evening [이름]!
What a great composition of yours. ^-^

I enjoyed reading it. Your opinions are greatly appreciated.

I totally agree with you. I think the government should do some measures to lessen crimes.

Thank you very much for doing a good job in class and for imparting a lot of ideas in writing.

Keep it up! Talk to you tomorrow, Good night!

Teacher Nina

I believe the death penalty would prevent crime.

>> Better: I believe that death penalty would prevent crime.

The reasons are as follows.

>> Correct

First, existing capital punishment can serve as a reminder to ordinary people that committing a crime can lead up to death.

>> Correct

>> OR: First, existing capital punishment can serve as a guide to ordinary people that committing a crime can lead to death.

Let us suppose there is a man who is trying to kill someone.

>> Correct

if there is no death sentence, it would be easier for the man to commit homicide only preparing for a prison sentence.

>> If there is no death sentence, it would be easier for the man to commit homicide, since he only prepares for a prison sentence.

>> OR:  If there is no death sentence, it would be easier for the man to commit homicide, since he only prepares for life sentence in prison.  

In the opposite case, however, the death penalty can deter the crime.

>> On the other hand, death penalty can deter the crime.

Second, for ruthless criminals who deserve death, an executed death sentence absolutely guarantees the killers will never kill again.

>> Correct

>> OR: Second, for ruthless criminals who deserve death, an executed sentence will absolutely guarantee that the killer will never commit the crime again.

Although the death penalty exists in Korea, the execution haven\'t carried out for the last 10 years.

>> Although death penalty exists in Korea, the execution haven\'t been carried out for the last years.

If it goes on like this, there is no point in sentencing capital punishment.

>> Correct

It should be enforced in appropriate circumstances.

>> Correct

>> OR: It should be imposed in suitable situations.