The disadventages of obesity
학생이 쓴 원문
Obesity is a big problem in my country.
It is a big problem all over the world, too.
I think so, too.
Because first, it destroys our bobd\'s balance.
It causes other diseases.
Second, It is hard to keep good looks.
Some people think that bad looks is no problem.
But most people like people who have good looks
It is important part of social life
Because of this i think that obesity is a big problem.
So we have to try to keep our weight proper
Of course, so do i *^^*
강사 첨삭
Wow, that was fast Ms. [Name]^^
Thank you!
Writing Task: Is obesity a big problem in your country? Why do you think that is?
Obesity is a big problem in my country.
>>CORRECT!
It is a big problem all over the world, too.I think so, too.
>>I think it\'s a big problem all over the world.
Because first, it destroys our bobd\'s balance. It causes other diseases.
>>First, it destroys our body\'s balance and causes other diseases.
Second, It is hard to keep good looks.
>>Second, it is difficult to maintain a good looking appearance.
Some people think that bad looks is no problem.
>>Some people think that bad looks don\'t matter.
But most people like people who have good looks
It is important part of social life
>>But most people like people with good looks. It is an important part of social life.
Because of this i think that obesity is a big problem.
>>Because of this, I think obesity is a big problem.
So we have to try to keep our weight proper
Of course, so do i *^^*
>>So we should try to maintain our weight properly.
Of course, me too.
I totally agree with you! We should stay in good shape not only for our appearance, but also for our health.
Stay healthy and pretty then. :)
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