The effect of the TV in bedroom

2020-02-14 · 첨삭 강사 Sharon

학생이 쓴 원문

The effect of the TV in bedroom Watching the TV in bedroom is fun and comfortable. Some children have TVs in their bedrooms, and it has many effects to children. They get much informantion through TV programs. Programs such as News, documentary lead children to look the world widely. But most childern have tendency to find funny things, and it\'s hard to stop wathching funny programs. So I think the TV is located in living room not in bedroom. It is more harmful when TV is in children\'s bedroom. Children should have time to think and plan the day for their lives. But it is hard when they turn on the TV in wake-up morning. They can\'t control themselves well and they will watch the TV through midnight. In conclusion, I think setting TVs in children\'s bedrooms has many side effects, so the TV would be left in living room.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]!
I saw that it was our last class today.
I\'m sorry that I was not able to say goodbye.
It has been a pleasure talking with you.
You were such a delight!
Good luck in your studies!
~~ Teacher Sharon
Watching the TV in bedroom is fun and comfortable. 
>> Watching TV in the bedroom is fun and comfortable. 
Some children have TVs in their bedrooms, and it has many effects to children. 
>> Some children have TVs in their bedrooms, and this has many effects on them.
They get much informantion through TV programs. 
>> They get much information from TV programs. 
Programs such as News, documentary lead children to look the world widely.
>> Programs such as the news and documentaries allow children to look at the world with a wider perspective.
But most childern have tendency to find funny things, and it\'s hard to stop wathching funny programs. 
>> However, most children have the tendency to look for funny things, and it\'s hard for them to stop watching funny programs. 
So I think the TV is located in living room not in bedroom. 
>> So I think TV should be located in the living room and not in the bedroom. 
It is more harmful when TV is in children\'s bedroom. 
>> It is more harmful when the TV is in the children\'s bedroom. 
Children should have time to think and plan the day for their lives. 
>> Children should have time to think and plan the days of their lives. 
But it is hard when they turn on the TV in wake-up morning. 
>> However, it is hard when they turn on the TV when they wake up in the morning. 
They can\'t control themselves well and they will watch the TV through midnight. 
>> They can\'t control themselves and they will watch TV through midnight. 
In conclusion, I think setting TVs in children\'s bedrooms has many side effects, so the TV would be left in living room.
>> In conclusion, I think setting up TVs in children\'s bedrooms has many bad effects, so the TV should be left in the living room.

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