The essay
학생이 쓴 원문
I think behaving differently is better for our life.
I treat differently both of them in reality because of some reasons.
The first reason is what we could say in front of family is limited.
For example, I can't tell a matter of love with my girlfriend in that
My parents don't want to discuss like this topic or my younger sister have no any idea so I can't find suitable solution.
on the other hand my friend know who am I and what I want so he/she could definitely help me.
The other reason is that all I have to with friend is showing courteous behavior.
I think family is the existence who give a respect and love each other so the good manner is required for a good relationship
For example I couldn’t say abusive language or bad jokes.
In the end I usually speak the language I'm most comfortable with friend.
So on that reliving stress with getting out my home for a while this would be good for us doing that.
I think there are some limitation that we can do with for us between family and friend.
I think that these would be potentially our matter interrupting our happiness
That is why I insist like that.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름]^^
Hmmm... I do agree with you that there should be a balance between the way how you talk with your family and your friends. It does not mean that you are in favor of the other but it\'s just a matter of weighing which is which.
Well done with your essay. I want you to read through the corrections again and if ever you have any questions, Jut ask me okay?
See you...
But I am sad for tomorrow...
I think I can\'t say goodbye to you...
~Aimee :(
I think behaving differently is better for our life.
>> Correct
I treat differently both of them in reality because of some reasons.
>> In reality, I treat them differently because of some reasons.
The first reason is what we could say in front of family is limited.
>> The first reason is that, when you are in front of your family, you have limited moves.
For example, I can\'t tell a matter of love with my girlfriend in that
>> For example, I can\'t say anything about my love life.
My parents don\'t want to discuss like this topic or my younger sister have no any idea so I can\'t find suitable solution.
>> My parents don\'t want to discuss this kind of topic. Also, my younger sister has no idea about it that is why I cannot find any suitable situation where I can talk freely.
on the other hand my friend know who am I and what I want so he/she could definitely help me.
>>On the other hand, my friends know me well so they could definitely help me.
The other reason is that all I have to with friend is showing courteous behavior.
>> The other reason is all about being courteous to my friends.
I think family is the existence who give a respect and love each other so the good manner is required for a good relationship
>> I think family is the foundation of respect and love so good manners is required to build a good relationship.
For example I couldn’t say abusive language or bad jokes.
>> An example is that I can\'t say any abusive words or bad jokes whenever I am with them.
In the end I usually speak the language I\'m most comfortable with friend.
>> In the end I just talk in way which I am most comfortable with in-front of my friends.
So on that reliving stress with getting out my home for a while this would be good for us doing that.
>> So for me to relieve stress brought about being good at home, I try to meet my friends to balance things out.
I think there are some limitation that we can do with for us between family and friend.
>> I think there are limitations when we are with our family or friends.
I think that these would be potentially our matter interrupting our happiness
>> I think that these would matter especially if we are talking about happiness.
That is why I insist like that.
>> That is why I insist on this opinion.
Hmmm... I do agree with you that there should be a balance between the way how you talk with your family and your friends. It does not mean that you are in favor of the other but it\'s just a matter of weighing which is which.
Well done with your essay. I want you to read through the corrections again and if ever you have any questions, Jut ask me okay?
See you...
But I am sad for tomorrow...
I think I can\'t say goodbye to you...
~Aimee :(
I think behaving differently is better for our life.
>> Correct
I treat differently both of them in reality because of some reasons.
>> In reality, I treat them differently because of some reasons.
The first reason is what we could say in front of family is limited.
>> The first reason is that, when you are in front of your family, you have limited moves.
For example, I can\'t tell a matter of love with my girlfriend in that
>> For example, I can\'t say anything about my love life.
My parents don\'t want to discuss like this topic or my younger sister have no any idea so I can\'t find suitable solution.
>> My parents don\'t want to discuss this kind of topic. Also, my younger sister has no idea about it that is why I cannot find any suitable situation where I can talk freely.
on the other hand my friend know who am I and what I want so he/she could definitely help me.
>>On the other hand, my friends know me well so they could definitely help me.
The other reason is that all I have to with friend is showing courteous behavior.
>> The other reason is all about being courteous to my friends.
I think family is the existence who give a respect and love each other so the good manner is required for a good relationship
>> I think family is the foundation of respect and love so good manners is required to build a good relationship.
For example I couldn’t say abusive language or bad jokes.
>> An example is that I can\'t say any abusive words or bad jokes whenever I am with them.
In the end I usually speak the language I\'m most comfortable with friend.
>> In the end I just talk in way which I am most comfortable with in-front of my friends.
So on that reliving stress with getting out my home for a while this would be good for us doing that.
>> So for me to relieve stress brought about being good at home, I try to meet my friends to balance things out.
I think there are some limitation that we can do with for us between family and friend.
>> I think there are limitations when we are with our family or friends.
I think that these would be potentially our matter interrupting our happiness
>> I think that these would matter especially if we are talking about happiness.
That is why I insist like that.
>> That is why I insist on this opinion.
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