The experience which broke my heart.

2010-07-27 · 첨삭 강사 janel

학생이 쓴 원문

I have a experience which broke my heart. It happend when I was in the military. Every korean man has to enter the military. and It takes about 2 years on average. It differs depending on the kind of military. By the way, I had a girl friend when I was in the military. Our relationship went well. But it was my thought. One day, I got a phone call from her. and She sounded different from usual days. she said to me "I have something to tell you, I am sorry , I have got a new boy friend. and You know him." At that time , I got really angry. so I asked her "Who is he?" She hesitated before replying. but she told me that he was my superior in military. I couldn't believe it. They got to know each other because of me. How did they fall in love?

강사 첨삭

Aww...This story breaks my heart [이름]. Anyway, I'm glad that you're a very tough person.
Stay strong.:)
Anyway, here are your corrections.
-Teacher JM-
I have a experience which broke my heart.
>>>I have an experience which broke my heart.
It happend when I was in the military.
>>>Correct!
Every korean man has to enter the military.
>>>Correct!
and It takes about 2 years on average.
>>>It takes about 2 years on average to stay in the military.
It differs depending on the kind of military.
>>>Correct!
By the way, I had a girl friend when I was in the military.
>>>Correct!
Our relationship went well. But it was my thought.
>>>Our relationship went well...or so I thought.
One day, I got a phone call from her.
>>>Correct!
and She sounded different from usual days.
>>>She sounded different from usual days.
she said to me "I have something to tell you,
>>>Correct!
I am sorry , I have got a new boy friend. and You know him."
>>>I am sorry , I have gotten a new boy friend. and You know him."
At that time , I got really angry.
>>>Correct!
so I asked her "Who is he?"
>>>Correct!
She hesitated before replying.
>>>Correct!
but she told me that he was my superior in military.
>>>but she later told me that he was my superior in the military. 
I couldn't believe it.
>>>Correct!
They got to know each other because of me.
>>>Correct!
How did they fall in love?
>>>Correct!

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