The greatest rock band in Korea
학생이 쓴 원문
I think \"[이름] [이름]wan Band\" is the greatest rock band in Korea.
[이름]wan [이름] released his first album in 1977. He made his debut by for[이름]g a band \"Sanwoollim\" with his brothers.
Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still perform until these days.
I watched his stage at the rock festival last year. His performance was fantastic!
Also his songs has been loved by Korean regardless of age and gender.
Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are same age as me loves his songs.
I even learned his songs at the class when I was in elementary school!
강사 첨삭
Good morning, [이름]!
Since you mentioned about [이름] [이름]wan Band, I searched them in YouTube and listened to their live concert performance. You are right, they are superb! They would not last in the music business for many decades if they do not possess the X-factor. Maybe being with his brothers is one secrete to his continuous success.
Not only that, they have a wide range of songs from slow flow to rock and roll. Fans will definitely be into their rhythm and beat. I understand why their music is a hit to all generations and it is because of its timelessness.
I notices that you enjoy writing about music. I hope that you can be a writer in music someday my means of English.
Below are a few grammar comments and suggestions. Analyze the forms and let them make you even better. Well done!
See you in class.
-T. Donna~
>> Correct!
[이름]wan [이름] released his first album in 1977. He made his debut by for[이름]g a band \"Sanwoollim\" with his brothers.
[이름]wan [이름] released his first album in 1977. He made his debut by for[이름]g a band \"Sanwoollim\" with his brothers.
>> Correct! Very good sentences!
Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still perform until these days.
Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still perform until these days.
>> Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still performs until these days.
Or: Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still performs these days/ until today.
I watched his stage at the rock festival last year. His performance was fantastic!
>> Correct!
Also his songs has been loved by Korean regardless of age and gender.
Also his songs has been loved by Korean regardless of age and gender.
>> Also his songs has been loved by Koreans regardless of age and gender.
Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are same age as me loves his songs.
>> Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are the same age as me love his songs.
I even learned his songs at the class when I was in elementary school!
>> I even learned his songs in class when I was in the elementary school!
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.