The historical buildings
학생이 쓴 원문
Today,,,, I do know that I write with right grammar.. haha thank you so much
강사 첨삭
Hi Ye [이름]!
You are improving every day.
I hope you keep it up and develop some more.
Your sentences are becoming more structured as days go by.
You have real potential so keep working hard.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Many people want to live in new houses but in many European countries, they have a law for the protection of the old
buildings which have meaning of a nation’s history. >> Many people want to live in new houses but in many European countries, they have a law for the protection of the old buildings which have significance in the nation’s history.
However, there are some people who think the law can stand in
the way of progress.
>> However, there are some people who think that the law can stand in the way of progress.
This essay will discuss how much the old buildings are important to maintain and whether history
is an obstacle for a nation’s progression or not.
>> This essay will discuss the importance of the maintenance of old buildings and whether history is an obstacle to a nation’s progress or not.
I believe that people should protect their history.
>> Correct
It is impossible to develop countries’ economy, politic and culture
without historical issues.
>> It is impossible to develop countries’ economy, politics and culture without lessons from history.
The old historical buildings are one of the evidences of history.
>> Old historical buildings are a representation of history.
Therefore, people can
remember their ancestors and the past of the countries when they see the buildings.
>> Correct
Moreover, the old historical
buildings can promote of a tourism.
>> Moreover, old historical buildings can promote tourism.
Many foreigners visit those places and spend a lot of money.
>> Correct
It means that the
countries’ economy can develop through a tourism.
>> It means that the countries’ economy can develop through tourism.
However, the idea is a true that there are some difficulties because of the existence of the buildings such as a limitation
of remodel of houses, not enough land for houses, a difficulty for the instruction of pave roads and so on.
>> However, the idea is true that there are some difficulties because of the existence of the buildings such as a limitation on the remodel of houses, lack of available land, a difficulty for the construction of paved roads and so on.
Thus, some
people think that it is an obstacle for the development of a country.
>> Thus, some people think that it is an obstacle to the development of a country.
But I do not think that only new buildings and a
new remodel of houses are the progression.
>> However, I do not think that only new buildings and remodeled houses contribute to progress.
It can be also progression that people understand their history and respect
their ancestors.
>> Progress can also be seen from the fact that people understand their history and respect their ancestors.
In conclusion, the historical buildings can be an obstacle sometimes but people should accept and protect their history
and think the other ways to develop their nations.
>> In conclusion, historical buildings can be an obstacle sometimes but people should accept and protect their history and think of other ways to develop their nations.
Therefore, the historical buildings are precious for the past, the
present and the future as well.
>> Therefore, these historical buildings are precious for the past, the present and the future as well.
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