The homework for Fab 17th.
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hi Eddy,
It’s really great to see that you’re doing your homework again! I can tell you put a lot of effort into this, and I’m especially happy because I just taught you the PREP method today, and you’re already using it well! That’s impressive!
You followed the structure perfectly, starting with your Point, giving a Reason, supporting it with an Example, and wrapping it up with another Point. This shows that you’re thinking carefully about how to organize your ideas, and that’s an important skill for writing clearly and effectively.
Your answer also brings up a very real and serious issue. The way you explained how aging populations affect healthcare systems makes your response both logical and meaningful. You even mentioned specific examples, like Japan and Korea, which makes your point even stronger!
I’m really proud of your progress! You’re improving step by step, and it’s exciting to see your writing get better. Keep up this great effort, and I’m sure you’ll get even stronger in expressing your thoughts!
~Teacher Cathy
The homework of 17th Fab.
>>The homework of 17th Feb.
OR>>The homework for February 17th.
In my view, aging is the biggest challenge that most developed countrys are facing.
>>In my view, aging is the biggest challenge that most developed countries are facing.
As countrys are getting better food, income, wealth etc.. peoples are living longer than before.
>>As countries have better access to food, income, and wealth, people are living longer than before.
In Japan, i heard more than 20% of peoples are aging persons.
>>In Japan, I heard that more than 20% of the population is elderly.
The Korea is also facing same problem.
>>Korea is also facing the same problem.
So, most country`s healthcare system is facing the problems like Mercy Killing or making more Nursing Home and so on.
>>So, most countries\' healthcare systems are facing issues like mercy killing and the need for more nursing homes, among others.
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