The issue what I would try to draw public attention to.
학생이 쓴 원문
If I were a celebrity, I would draw public attention to \"abandoned dogs\".
Recently, we easily see dogs with their owner in the street. As much we can see them easily, the increasing of the number of abandoned dogs is getting serious problem in our society. Almost 10 millions dogs are abandoned in a year. It makes the shelter crowded, and they are struggling to protect, and raise abandoned dogs. Some shelters were blamed by people, because they administered euthanasia. But we can\'t just blame them, because they lack of the money to raise all dogs in good condition. This problem will be solved, if we don\'t abandon the dogs, and do our best for them. Although this solution is simple, people give up easily.
I really love dogs, so I wish that every dog is live happily with their generous family. To make better society for dogs, I hope that this issue get public attention.
강사 첨삭
Good evening Suji!
And I will support you for that!
Thank you!
If I were a celebrity, I would draw public attention to \"abandoned dogs\".
>>CORRECT!
Recently, we easily see dogs with their owner in the street.
>>CORRECT!
OR: Recently, we can easily see dogs on the streets with their owners.
As much we can see them easily, the increasing of the number of abandoned dogs is getting serious problem in our society.
>>As we can easily see, the number of abandoned dogs is increasing and becoming a serious problem in our society.
Almost 10 millions dogs are abandoned in a year.
>>CORRECT!
OR: Nearly 10 million dogs are abandoned a year.
It makes the shelter crowded, and they are struggling to protect, and raise abandoned dogs.
>>CORRECT!
Some shelters were blamed by people, because they administered euthanasia.
>>Some shelters were blamed by people for euthanasia.
But we can\'t just blame them, because they lack of the money to raise all dogs in good condition.
>>But we can\'t blame them. This is because they don\'t have enough money to keep all dogs in good condition.
This problem will be solved, if we don\'t abandon the dogs, and do our best for them.
>>If we don\'t abandon the dog and do our best, this problem will be solved.
Although this solution is simple, people give up easily.
>>CORRECT!
OR: This solution is simple, but people give up easily.
I really love dogs, so I wish that every dog is live happily with their generous family.
>>I really love dogs, so I hope all dogs live happily with their generous family.
To make better society for dogs, I hope that this issue get public attention.
>>To create a better society for dogs, I hope this issue will receive public attention.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.