The most interesting workshop I had in my company

2014-02-14 · 첨삭 강사 Nina

학생이 쓴 원문

The most interesting workshop was the one that I participated in last year. It was for all employees of our sales, service and marketing division. It was the 2-day 1 night workshop and around 300 employees took part in the event. Various kinds of programs were prepared. It included leadership’s business update, a special lecture by the famous professor, a lucky draw, a raffle draw, team building activities, a singing contest, etc. One of them was a group performance. Each group consists of about 10 to 20 employees and it was assigned to perform a play, a group dance, sing in chorus, or play instruments. My group performed a comedy show, simulating smart phone functions. Above all, it was great to get out of the office, got fresh air and had the time to mix with other team members.

강사 첨삭

Hi there!

How was your day going?

Hope you had a great time doing your composition.

Thank you for sharing your workshop experience.

I think it was really fun and you enjoyed a lot.

Now I know why it was the most interesting workshop for you.

I want to congratulate you for having a great composition. ^^

Thumbs up! :)

You just need to work on some of the corrections below.

But the idea was great!

I really like the way you deliver your thoughts.

You have a wonderful day and take care always. ^^

Teacher Nina ^^

The most interesting workshop was the one that I participated in last year.

>> The most interesting workshop was the one that I participated last year.

It was for all employees of our sales, service and marketing division.

>> It was for all employees of our company\'s sales, service and marketing division.

It was the 2-day 1 night workshop and around 300 employees took part in the event.

>> We had the workshop for two days and one night and around 300 employees participated in the event.

Various kinds of programs were prepared.

>> Correct

>> OR: There were various kinds of activities during the workshop.

It included leadership’s business update, a special lecture by the famous professor, a lucky draw, a raffle draw, team building activities, a singing contest, etc.

>> It included leadership business update, a special lecture by a famous professor, a lucky draw, a raffle draw, team building activities, singing contest, etc.

One of them was a group performance.

>> One was a group activity.

Each group consists of about 10 to 20 employees and it was assigned to perform a play, a group dance, sing in chorus, or play instruments.

>> Each group consists of 10 to 20 employees and was assigned to perform a play, a group dance, sing in chorus, or play musical instruments.

My group performed a comedy show, simulating smart phone functions.

>> Correct

Above all, it was great to get out of the office, got fresh air and had the time to mix with other team members.

>> Above all, it was great to have some fresh air after the activities and to mingle with the other team members.

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