[The most recent trip / Unforgettable trip]

2020-10-14 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

[Q] The most recent trip Oh my God, it\'s been 4 years since I recently traveled. I don\'t remember much, but I\'ll talking about it. My last overseas travel destination was Guam. By the way, there is not much to say. Because I got off at the airport and went to Guam PIC. And just played in the water for 3 days. Since the children were young(3 and 5), I only had a hard memory to play with them. That\'s all I remember about the my most recent trip. [Q] Unforgettable trip About 15 years ago, I went to Japan in my late 20s. I really liked snowboarding, so I went to Nagano, Japan, where the Winter Olympics were held. Oh my god, my back was hurt the first day I went to the ski resort. I almost crawled for 3 days. I didn\'t even get on my favorite snowboard and had to return to Korea. That was my worst trip.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! This was a great essay although I need you to focus more on you sentence construction and usage of your punctuations marks. Keep up the good work. :)

-Teacher Elise

Oh my God, it\'s been 4 years since I recently traveled.
>>Oh my goodness, it\'s been 4 years since I traveled. 

I don\'t remember much, but I\'ll talking about it.
>>I don\'t remember much, but I\'ll share what I remember. 

My last overseas travel destination was Guam.
>>My last overseas travel destination was Guam. 

By the way, there is not much to say. Because I got off at the airport and went to Guam PIC.
>>There\'s not much to say because when I got out of the airport and I went to Guam PIC. 
 
And just played in the water for 3 days. 
>>I played in the water for 3 days. 

Since the children were young(3 and 5), I only had a hard memory to play with them.
>>My children were very young then. Their ages were 3yrs. old and 5yrs. old.

That\'s all I remember about the my most recent trip.
>>I only had a brief memory about the trip. 

--

About 15 years ago, I went to Japan in my late 20s. 
>> CORRECT

I really liked snowboarding, so I went to Nagano, Japan, where the Winter Olympics were held. 
>> CORRECT

Oh my god, my back was hurt the first day I went to the ski resort. 
>> Oh my God, my back hurt the first day I went to the ski resort. 

I almost crawled for 3 days. 
>>CORRECT

I didn\'t even get on my favorite snowboard and had to return to Korea.
>> CORRECT

 That was my worst trip.
>>CORRECT

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