The number of older people is increasing. Some people think that this will cause problems in their c
학생이 쓴 원문
Aging society is one of the serious problem which we need to consider. I also think this will cause many problem and it can be burden for young generations. When we get old, the physical ability will decrease that might result in status which can\'t work well. Our government has tried to create jobs for elderly but we are still in the shortage of jobs for them. Koreans can receive the national pension when we reach 65 years old and most people retire in 60 years old. So, we have to prepare the time we don\'t have any income from 60 to 65. In addition, the fund of national pension has had serious problem that will be exhausted in few years because populations of old people are much more than young people. Because of this problem, I am not sure if I can get exact amount from the government when I retire. This makes the conflicts between generations. In my opinion, we have to make welfare country by paying more taxes so people can be helped from the society.
강사 첨삭
Hi there Mr. [이름]~! ^^ Thanks for doing your essay. I always appreciate your ideas~! ^^ Keep it up~! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Aging society is one of the serious problem which we need to consider.
>>> CORRECT
I also think this will cause many problems and it can be a burden for young generations.
>>> CORRECT
When we get old, our physical ability will decrease that might result in status which can\'t work well.
>>> When we get old, our physical ability will decrease that might result in status which we can no longer work well.
Our government has tried to create jobs for the elderly but we are still in the shortage of jobs for them.
>>> CORRECT
Koreans can receive the national pension when we reach 65 years old and most people retire at 60 years old.
>>> CORRECT
So, we have to prepare the time we don\'t have any income from 60 to 65.
>>> CORRECT
In addition, the fund of national pension has had serious problems that will be exhausted in few years because populations of old people are much more than young people.
>>> CORRECT
Because of this problem, I am not sure if I can get exact amount from the government when I retire.
>>> CORRECT
This leads to conflicts between generations.
>>> CORRECT
In my opinion, we have to make welfare country by paying more taxes so people can be helped from the society.
>>> CORRECT
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