The origin of my foreign name

2011-04-13 · 첨삭 강사 cherry

학생이 쓴 원문

Let me introduce the movie plot to you. Once upon a time, there were very rigor and conservative people in a small town in France. The people would protect old traditions and regular of religion exceedingly. However they had not known about the joy of transformation and challenge and freedom, so they had not been happy so much. one day, one woman wanderer who was called [이름] came to the town and started to make sweet chocolat. At first, people who lived in the town hated her who was free and frank about her feeling and made new rule by herself. Tought gradually, they could know the joy of life with her and through eating her chocolat. I have felt attractiveness about the heroine's grand and frank character, so I've named my name by myself.

강사 첨삭

You are very creative about this composition! I’m really proud of you!  Thank you for sharing it to me…. - t.Cherry-   Let me introduce the movie plot to you. >>correctOnce upon a time, there were very rigor and conservative people in a small town in France. >>Once  upon a time, there were very rigor and conservative people in a small town of France.The people would protect old traditions and regular of religion exceedingly. >>The people would protect the old traditions and the regular religion exceedingly.However they had not known about the joy of transformation and challenge and freedom, so they had not been happy so much. >>However, they haven’t known about the joy of transformation, challenge and freedom, so they haven’t been so much happy.one day, one woman wanderer who was called [이름] came to the town and started to make sweet chocolat. >>One day, one woman wandered who was that person named [이름] who came to the town and started to make sweet chocolate.At first, people who lived in the town hated her who was free and frank about her feeling and made new rule by herself. >>At first, people who lives in that town hated her because she was free and frank about her feelings and she made new rules by herself.Tought gradually, they could know the joy of life with her and through eating her chocolat. >>They thought gradually that they could enjoy life with her and through eating her chocolates.I have felt attractiveness about the heroine's grand and frank character, so I've named my name by myself. >>I have felt attractiveness about the heroine’s grand and frank character,  so I’ve named her as my name.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

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