The reason some people tend to spend a lot of money on their weddings or birthday parties
학생이 쓴 원문
Nowadays, the reason some people tend to spend a lot of money on their weddings or birthday parties is that they want to show off their wealth. These people might have low self-esteem and be overly concerned about others\' criticism. Therefore, I think people who choose small weddings and modest birthday parties are those with high self-esteem.
강사 첨삭
Hi there Ms. [Name]! T[이름]ks for doing your homework! While your essay is well-developed, you could strengthen the clarity of your argument by incorporating more specific examples in the second paragraph.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Nowadays, the reason some people tend to spend a lot of money on their weddings or birthday parties is that they want to show off their wealth.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
These people might have low self-esteem and be overly concerned about others\' criticism.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Therefore, I think people who choose small weddings and modest birthday parties are those with high self-esteem.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
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