The reason that I want the healthier life.

2020-08-14 · 첨삭 강사 Gabby

학생이 쓴 원문

I think that well-balanced diet and regular working out can bring a positive energy to me. And I believe that a positive energy will change my life in productive way. For example, I could study more, express my energy to my friend and live more active. Also, unhealthy life could cause illness easily. And at the end, there is a chance that I kick the bucket in early age.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]. Thanks for sharing. :)
-T.Gabby :)
I think that well-balanced diet and regular working out can bring a positive energy to me. 
>> Correct.
And I believe that a positive energy will change my life in productive way. 
>> And I believe that a positive energy will change my life in a productive way. 
For example, I could study more, express my energy to my friend and live more active. 
>> For example, I can study more, express my energy to my friend and live more actively.
Also, unhealthy life could cause illness easily. 
>> Correct.
And at the end, there is a chance that I kick the bucket in early age.
>> And at the end, there is a chance that I kick the bucket at an early age.

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