The role of media have to do restrain the government
학생이 쓴 원문
The Journalist has responsible for making to go toward the government and corporation for improving people. So I agree that they mostly write and report bad news. But The news don\'t have to deliver the situation, have to be know cause of foundation about regulation of goverment, awarness of society, prejudice of peopel etc. For example, Yesterday, I would\'t like belive the situation that Korea\'s president declared the notice. At that time, There came into so many news and real time reporting news on Youtube. But, many news got scared people and not deliver cause. I think that good news is that change people\'s knowledge and opinion.
강사 첨삭
Hello there Ms. [이름]! You present a compelling argument with well-reasoned points. Your analysis ties back to the topic effectively! While the structure of your essay is clear, the transitions between some paragraphs could be improved to make the argument flow more smoothly. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
The Journalist has responsible for making to go toward the government and corporation for improving people.
>>> The journalist is responsible for engaging with the government and corporations to advocate for the betterment of society.
So I agree that they mostly write and report bad news.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But The news don\'t have to deliver the situation, have to be know cause of foundation about regulation of goverment, awarness of society, prejudice of peopel etc.
>>> The news should not only report the situation but also provide insight into the underlying factors, such as government regulations, societal awareness, and people\'s prejudices.
For example, Yesterday, I would\'t like belive the situation that Korea\'s president declared the notice.
>>>For example, yesterday, I could hardly believe the situation when the President of Korea made the announcement.
At that time, There came into so many news and real time reporting news on Youtube.
>>> At that time, many news reports and real-time updates started flooding YouTube.
But, many news got scared people and not deliver cause.
>>> However, many news reports frightened people without explaining the underlying causes.
I think that good news is that change people\'s knowledge and opinion.
>>> I think that good news can change people\'s knowledge and opinions.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.