The temple+(discussion of vaccine)

2021-12-11 · 첨삭 강사 Debbie

학생이 쓴 원문

In my city, there is very good temple. It was built in 5th century. Though it was burnt down by Japanese soldiers, but it reconstructed after that war. Because there are lots of treasures in the temple, so I think Korea in 15th century reconstructed it. And, this temple became the best place to go to picnic. The temple is good, but the park near the temple is also very great. So, most of citizen love this place and me too. (I discussed in the class today. So I will explain how I discussed.) Title of discussion: Do elementary school student have to get vaccine? My opinion is agreement. I will cite two reasons why elementary school student have to get vaccine. First, vaccine can protects us from COVID-19 close to half. Second, there was very few side effects when do clinical trial. (Frankly, we did lots of questions to others and refute to others. However, it\'s too hard to express in English, so I will finish here.)

강사 첨삭


Hi, Daniel! You shared a lot! I am impressed! Keep it up! However, you have to be careful with articles and prepositions. Please take note of the corrections given. 

- Teacher Debbie


In my city, there is very good temple.
>> In my city, there is a wonderful temple.

It was built in 5th century.
>> It was built in the 5th century.

Though it was burnt down by Japanese soldiers, but it reconstructed after that war.
>> It was burnt down by Japanese soldiers, but it was reconstructed after the war.

Because there are lots of treasures in the temple, so I think Korea in 15th century reconstructed it.
>>  I think Korea reconstructed it in the 15th century because there were lots of treasures in it.

 And, this temple became the best place to go to picnic.
>> This temple became the best place for a picnic.

The temple is good, but the park near the temple is also very great.
>> It is great as well as the park near it.

So, most of citizen love this place and me too.
>> Therefore, most citizens, including me, love this place.

(I discussed in the class today. So I will explain how I discussed.)
>> I discussed something in class today, so I will explain how I did it.

Title of discussion: Do elementary school student have to get vaccine?
>> Title of the discussion: Do elementary school students have to get vaccinated? 

My opinion is agreement.
>> I agree.

I will cite two reasons why elementary school student have to get vaccine.
>> I will cite two reasons why elementary school students have to get vaccinated.

First, vaccine can protects us from COVID-19 close to half.
>> First, vaccines can give us 50% protection from COVID19.

Second, there was very few side effects when do clinical trial.
>> Second, there were very few side effects during the clinical trials.

(Frankly, we did lots of questions to others and refute to others. However, it\'s too hard to express in English, so I will finish here.)
>> (Franky, we asked a lot of questions and others refuted. However, it\'s too hard to express them in English, so I will end it here.)

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