The UK travelling
학생이 쓴 원문
Thank you so much always
강사 첨삭
Hi Ye [이름]!
You might be in a hurry to finish this composition.
There were a lot of spelling mistakes.
Be careful with that because those are technical errors.
Take time to proofread your work.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Both graphs are related in the UK.
>> Both graphs are related to the UK.
The line graph illustrates the populations of two kinds of people
who travelled overseas in UK residents and travelled the UK by foreigners from 1979 to 1999.
>> The line graph illustrates the UK residents who traveled abroad and foreigners who traveled to the UK from 1979 to 1999.
The
bar graph illustrates five most popular countries which UK residents visited in 1999.
>> The bar graph illustrates the five most popular countries which UK residents visited in 1999.
People can see
the diffrences of the population and compare two graphs for getting information.
>> People can see the differences in the population and compare the two graphs to get information.
The most visible point of the line graph is that both lines went up during the period.
>> The most visible point of the line graph is that both lines were going up during the given period.
Both lines were
under 20 million in 1979, however, after twenty years, both ilnes were above 20 million.
>> Both lines were under 20 million in 1979, however, after twenty years, both lines were above 20 million.
It means that
the popluation increased quickly just within 20 years.
>> It means that the population increased quickly in just 20 years.
The diffrence is that many UK residnets
travelled other countries compared to foreingers who travelled the UK at the same priod.
>> The difference is that many UK residents traveled to other countries compared to foreigners who traveled to the UK in the same period.
Especailly, UK residents travelled five countries which were Turkey, Greece, USA, Spain and France
in 1999.
>> Especially, UK residents traveled to five countries which were Turkey, Greece, USA, Spain and France in 1999.
According to the bar chart, more than 10 million of UK residents visited France which was
the most popular country at that time.
>> Correct
Spain came second with high population around 9 million of
UK residents.
>> Spain came second with a high population of around 9 million of UK residents.
However, the visiting populations of USA, Greece and Turkey were extrely lower than
the previous two countries.
>> However, the visiting populations of USA, Greece and Turkey were extremely lower than the previous two countries.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.