The value of exports
학생이 쓴 원문
I tried to write one topic with two ideas... could you choose one which is better?
강사 첨삭
Hi Ye [이름]!
The second one is definitely better.
What I\'m basing this on is the construction of your whole essay.
I don\'t know what you did with the second composition.
It\'s clearer and the grammar is much better.^^
Keep it up!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
The chart illustrates the values of the different categories for export of one country in 2015 and 2016.
>> Correct
The table shows
the changes of the values in the same years.
>> Correct
Through this information, people can know the values of the times by the
amount of money and the value differences between 2015 and 2016.
>> Through this information, people can know the values of the exports by the amount of money and the value differences between 2015 and 2016.
Looking at the chart and table together, the category of petroleum products was the most expensive item in 2015 at
over 60 billions.
>> Looking at the chart and table together, the category of petroleum products was the most expensive item in 2015 at over 60 billion.
However, it was not increased as many as the value of engineered goods in 2016,
>> However, it had not reached the value of engineered goods in 2016.
the values of the two were similar in 2016.
>> The values of the two were similar in 2016.
The values of the other three (gems and jewellery, agricultural products and textiles) were extremely lower than the
previous two categories, however, the increasing value of textiles was the highest in 2016 out of the five categories.
>> The values of the other three (gems and jewelry, agricultural products and textiles) were extremely lower than the previous two categories, however, the increasing value of textiles was the highest in 2016 out of the five categories.
The value of agricultural products was not changed like the others.
>> The value of agricultural products had not changed like the others.
Germs and jewellery was the only one which
decreased the value in 2016.
>> Gems and jewelry were the only ones with decreased values in 2016.
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