This is a part of my introduction. please check t
학생이 쓴 원문
My name is [이름][이름] Jo. I'm expecting a bachelor of Environment and Forest Resources from chungnam national university in one and half year.
I've always thought that I would work in the field that is benefical for our society, moreover I'm convinced that the vision of this company is accord with my ambition. That's the reason being(why) I'm appling for this company.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름][이름] Jo, Thanks for your composition.
Teacher Teressa
My name is [이름][이름] Jo.
>>correct
I'm expecting a bachelor of Environment and Forest Resources from Chungnam national university in one and half year.
>>I'm expecting a degree of bachelor of Environment and Forest Resources from chungnam national university after one and a half year. I've always thought that I would work in the field that is benefical for our society, moreover I'm convinced that the vision of this company is accord with my ambition.
>>I always thought that I would work in a field that is beneficial for our society. Moreover, I'm convinced that the vision of this company is related to my ambition.
That's the reason being(why) I'm appling for this company.
>>That's the reason why I'm applying for this company.
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