This is my academy writing homework. Could you please check only Grammer & Spelling? ^_^
학생이 쓴 원문
This is my academy writing homework. Could you please check only Grammer & Spelling?
I believe it is more important to try to be yourself. If you are popular, you might be in the embrace of a crowd\'s worshipness instantly. It might make you stuggle. Sure, there would be some who encouages you but most of the comments will be rude ooohs and aaahs, You\'ll waste precious time putting on makeup. Patience is also a problem too. \'Cause when you can dance any dance you want, you will be practicing the crowd\'s favorite dance! It will feel like being the slave of the crowd. As the result, you\'ll \"dance-fall-get hurt- wait for the injury to heal-dance-fall-get hurt-wait for the injury to heal-dance....\". Just think about it! Waiting every time. And in my opinion, applausing hurts my ears. Alas, last but not least, you cannot concentrate because of the thought of how to make fans happy (even when you dont want to). So I agree that being yourself is more better that being popular.
강사 첨삭
Hello Heather! I understand. I will check your grammar and spelling. Keep up the good work! ~ T. Lyn
I believe it is more important to try to be yourself.
>>Correct.
If you are popular, you might be in the embrace of a crowd\'s worshipness instantly.
>>If you are popular, people would embrace and admire you instantly.
It might make you stuggle.
>>This can cause you to struggle.
Sure, there would be some who encouages you but most of the comments will be rude ooohs and aaahs,
>>Sure, there would be some who encourage you but most of the comments will be rude such as \"ooohs\" and \"aaahs.\"
You\'ll waste precious time putting on makeup.
>>Correct.
Patience is also a problem too.
>>Patience is a problem, too.
\'Cause when you can dance any dance you want, you will be practicing the crowd\'s favorite dance!
>>If you can dance to any songs, you will be forced to keep on dancing to please the crowd.
It will feel like being the slave of the crowd.
>>You would feel like the slave of the crowd.
As the result, you\'ll \"dance-fall-get hurt- wait for the injury to heal-dance-fall-get hurt-wait for the injury to heal-dance....\".
>>As a result, you will \"dance-fall-get hurt, then wait for the injury to heal and experience the same process again.
Just think about it! Waiting every time. And in my opinion, applausing hurts my ears.
>>Just think about it! You need to wait every time. And in my opinion, people\'s applause hurts my ears.
Alas, last but not least, you cannot concentrate because of the thought of how to make fans happy (even when you dont want to).
>Last but not least, even if you can not concentrate because you are distracted by about thinking how to make your fans happy (even when you don\'t want to).
So I agree that being yourself is more better that being popular.
>>So, I agree that being yourself is much better than being popular.
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