this is my essay^^

Now a days, many korean are afraid of Influenza A. 11 people have passed away since Aug, 15. This is not korea`s problem, Many countries are suffering from it. What do you think that is the cause of the trouble maker? Unfortunately, anybody doesnt know about this. according to WHO it causes virus mutation. If we have a virus, we can feel that we have a cold. We have cough, fever, and chill, afeter few days these symtom come more serious. It`s so hard to breathe! for our health, We must wash our hand! and we have to be careful in the public zone. ^^

Hi [이름]! ^_^ I really appreciate that you are sharing your thoughts regarding Influenza A.

 

Here are my corrections:

 

 

    Nowadays, many koreans are afraid of Influenza A. 11 people have passed away since Aug, 15. This is not just Korea`s problem, many countries are also suffering from it. What do you think is the cause of this influenza pandemic? Unfortunately, nobody knows about this. But, whatever caused the virus mutation, if we have the virus, we will suffer from colds, cough, fever and chills.  After a few days, these symptoms will become more serious. It`s so hard to breathe! For our health, we must wash our hands and we have to be careful when we are in public areas.

^^

 

---- Be careful also with your spellings, and please follow the essay format when you are writing one.. ^_^

 

 Have a Blessed Sunday!  I hope you will write more.. take care

 

 

T. Jana