To answer the question about military services

2023-12-20 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

What changes do you think is needed to improve or better the military service in your country? I think to need many changes. First, Think of people changed present more than past about mandatory military service. Second, It was change around world incould Korea. Third, Young peoples want to change about our job problem. To change Supporting military service more than mandatory military service.

강사 첨삭

Thank you for this Sir Ko. Have a great evening!
 
I think to need many changes.
>>> I think there needs to be many changes.
>>> OR: I think it needs many changes. 
>>> OR: I think there is a need for many changes.
>> OR: I think many changes are needed.
First, Think of people changed present more than past about mandatory military service.
>>> First, people\'s thoughts at present has changes a lot compared to the past regarding/about mandatory military service.
Second, It was change around world incould Korea.
>>> Second, everything around the world has changes including Korea. 
Third, Young peoples want to change about our job problem. 
>>> Third, young people want to change the problems related to jobs.
To change Supporting military service more than mandatory military service. 
>>> To change, supporting military service is more important than making it mandatory. 

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