Today’s childrens and childrens from 50 year ago.
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름]!
This is a good composition.
It\'s clear and concise.
I like how direct you were in the expression of your ideas.
Keep it up!
~~ Teacher Sharon
I think that there are many differences.
>> Correct
First, the develpoment of technology, many childrens can learn many things from the internet.
>> First, with the development of technology, many children can learn a lot of things from the Internet.
So, they normally spend time at home with some technological gadgets.
>> Correct
But, in the past, most childrens played with their friends.
>> However, most children usually played with their friends in the past.
And they were more pure and naïve.
>> They were also more innocent and naïve.
Thesedays, childrens have some health problems because they don’t excercise enough.
>> These days, children have some health problems because they don’t excercise enough.
However, 50 years ago, childrens were healthy because they didn’t have enough toys, they normally played at outside.
>> However, 50 years ago, children were healthy because they didn’t have enough toys so they normally played outside.
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