Today\'s essay(3/11)

2020-03-12 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

I agree that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside. I think children can learn a lot of things through the nature. Children who grow up with observing, listening and feeling can think more creatively than in a big city. In my opinion, these experience in childhood is the most important to grow up as adults. So parents have to provide these environment which kids can experience instead of pushing their kids to solve a math problem. Countryside is better places to provide these environment for children. That\'s why I agree today\'s topic that you gave.

강사 첨삭

Hi Ms. [Name]~! Thanks for doing your essay. Keep it up!

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

I agree that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside.

>>> CORRECT
I think children can learn a lot of things through the nature.

>>> CORRECT

Children who grow up with observing, listening and feeling can think more creatively than in a big city.

>>> Children who grow up observing, listening and feeling can think more creatively than in a big city.
In my opinion, these experience in childhood is the most important to grow up as adults.

>>> In my opinion, these childhood experiences are the most important to grow up as adults.

So parents have to provide these environment which kids can experience instead of pushing their kids to solve a math problem.

>>> CORRECT
Countryside is better places to provide these environment for children.

>>> Countryside is better place to provide the best environment for children.
That\'s why I agree today\'s topic that you gave.

>>> That\'s why I agree with today\'s topic that you have given.

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