Today\'s essay(3/5)
학생이 쓴 원문
I disagree about paying attention to personal lives of famous people in media.
Some of celebrities used to upload their personal life on SNS such as instagram, facebook, etc.
I guess they want to share their daily life with their fans.
But some of reporters posts it in entertainment news without their agreement.
I think public don\'t want to know these unimportant news such as what they\'re eating or what they\'re wearing.
And I think famous people wouldn\'t also want to report their life in Media because haters who watch the article post negative comments.
Famous people or celebrities have a right to live their personal life.
So, I think Media have to stop reporting these useless information and report more important articles.
강사 첨삭
Hi there Catherine~! Thanks for doing your first essay homework. Keep up with your ideas!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I disagree about paying attention to personal lives of famous people in media.
>>> I disagree that media pay too much attention to personal lives of famous people.
Some of celebrities used to upload their personal life on SNS such as instagram, facebook, etc.
Some of celebrities used to upload their personal life on SNS such as instagram, facebook, etc.
>>> Some celebrities used to upload their personal life on SNS such as instagram, facebook, etc.
I guess they want to share their daily life with their fans.
I guess they want to share their daily life with their fans.
>>>I guess they want to share their daily whereabouts with their fans.
But some of reporters posts it in entertainment news without their agreement.
But some of reporters posts it in entertainment news without their agreement.
>>> But some reporters posts them in entertainment news without their confirmation.
I think public don\'t want to know these unimportant news such as what they\'re eating or what they\'re wearing.
I think public don\'t want to know these unimportant news such as what they\'re eating or what they\'re wearing.
>>> I think, the public doesn\'t want to know these unimportant news like they\'re eating or what they\'re wearing.
And I think famous people wouldn\'t also want to report their life in Media because haters who watch the article post negative comments.
And I think famous people wouldn\'t also want to report their life in Media because haters who watch the article post negative comments.
>>> And I think famous people wouldn\'t also want to report their life in media because haters (bashers) who watch the article post negative comments.
Famous people or celebrities have a right to live their personal life.
Famous people or celebrities have a right to live their personal life.
>>> Famous people or celebrities have the right to live their personal life.
So, I think Media have to stop reporting these useless information and report more important articles.
So, I think Media have to stop reporting these useless information and report more important articles.
>>> So, I think the media has to stop reporting these useless information and report more important articles.
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