Today\'s homework
학생이 쓴 원문
ESSAY: Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
I think outside exteral component are not important for children.
Outside activity are important for growing body such as muscle, weight, and height.
But mind are not important them. it\'s important to connect for mindful relationship.
Of corse, i don\'y say that growing body is not important for children. i just say mind is more better than body for them.
development of mind relationship between parents and child.
강사 첨삭
Hi there Lee! Happy Monday! Thanks for doing your homework. Enjoy your Monday~!^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think outside exteral component are not important for children.
>>> I think external component are not important for children.
Outside activity are important for growing body such as muscle, weight, and height.>>> Outdoor activities are important for enhancing body such as muscle, weight, and height.
But mind are not important them.
But mind are not important them.
>>> But mental health is not important to them.
it\'s important to connect for mindful relationship.
>>> It\'s important to connect to mental relationship.
Of corse, i don\'y say that growing body is not important for children.
Of corse, i don\'y say that growing body is not important for children.
>>> Of course, I\'m not saying that enhancing body is not important for children.
i just say mind is more better than body for them.
>> I just thought that the mind is more important for them.
development of mind relationship between parents and child.
development of mind relationship between parents and child.
>>> There should be mental developments between parents and children.
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