today\'s homework

2023-09-27 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

ESSAY: In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree? I think that government has not responsibility this problem. They have responsivilty themselves about overweight and unhealthy problems. Recently most of countries in the world have private free. In their countries people can do everything. They can spend their money and eat everything. But the problems of free have themselves. There are not the thing that they blame their problem. In my opinion, These are entirely matter of themselves.

강사 첨삭

Hi there Lee! Happy Holidays to you! I hope your Thanksgiving is filled to the brim with gratitude, love, and happiness. Have a wonderful long weekend. I hope you\'ll have a good time with your favorite people and plenty of memories!

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

I think that government has not responsibility this problem.

>>> I think the government is not responsible for this problem.
They have responsivilty themselves about overweight and unhealthy problems.

>>> Overweight and health issues are individuals\' concerns.
Recently most of countries in the world have private free.

>>> Recently, most of countries in the world have freedom about anything.
In their countries people can do everything.

>>> CORRECT~!^^

They can spend their money and eat everything.

>>> CORRECT~!^^
But the problems of free have themselves.

>>> But the problem is people tend to abuse their freedom.

There are not the thing that they blame their problem.

>>> So they shouldn\'t blame others for having such problems.
In my opinion, These are entirely matter of themselves.

>>> In my opinion, these should entirely be a concern of themselves.

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