Topic : As a citizen of South Korea, how do you feel about President Moon\'s administration and the

2019-10-09 · 첨삭 강사 Joylin

학생이 쓴 원문

I first elected president Moon three years ago. Sometimes, I don’t understand his policy about some issue, but I am very satisfied most policies. As presidential candidate, his election slogan is President who make a justice nation. I think that it is very important to reform the prosecution for justice society. For a long time, the prosecution make a trouble combined government power. For example, They are related the issue of pre-president Park. So, they need to reform but vested rights don’t want it. The corruption allegations about The Justice Minster is ongoing over 30 days. But it have allegation but haven’t evidence. They didn’t find anything. Also, they don’t start to investigate allegation about other member of national assembly although many citizen want it. So we support the president and the justice minister to reform the vested right and to make a justice nation.

강사 첨삭

Hi Se [이름]!
Here are the corrections.
I first elected president Moon three years ago.
>>Correct!
Sometimes, I don’t understand his policy about some issue, but I am very satisfied most policies.
>>Sometimes, I don’t understand his policy about some issue, but I am very satisfied with most of it.
As presidential candidate, his election slogan is President who make a justice nation.
>>As a presidential candidate, his election slogan is, \'President who makes a just nation.\'
I think that it is very important to reform the prosecution for justice society.
>>I think that it is very important to reform the prosecution for a just society.
For a long time, the prosecution make a trouble combined government power. For example, They are related the issue of pre-president Park.
>>For a long time, the prosecution made troubles with the combined government power. For example, they are relating the issue of the former president Park.
So, they need to reform but vested rights don’t want it. The corruption allegations about The Justice Minster is ongoing over 30 days.
>>So, they need to reform but vested rights don’t want it. The corruption allegations about the Justice Minister is ongoing for over 30 days.
But it have allegation but haven’t evidence. They didn’t find anything. 
>>They have allegations, but haven’t evidence. They didn’t find anything.
Also, they don’t start to investigate allegation about other member of national assembly although many citizen want it.
>>Also, they don’t start to investigate the allegations about the other members of the national assembly although many citizens want it.
So we support the president and the justice minister to reform the vested right and to make a justice nation.
>>So, we support the president and the justice minister to reform the vested rights and to make a just nation.

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