Topic: hobby (preparing for the conversation final exam in my school) -2
학생이 쓴 원문
Before I started walking, it was so hard for me to follow up the training course. I didn't have a basic physical strength. But now, there is no problem to participate in the practice. Because of the walking effect, I even beat the freshman in my team on the ono-on-one game. I was so proud of myself. There's a reason why walking is a best sport which I could choose. My health is not good. I have a problem in my leg. The length of my right leg is longer than my left leg. And blood dosen't circulate well in right leg well. So I can't exercise fiercely. Because walking is a simple sports I could do that freely and for a long time. Sometimes I walk to my town library. The distance is 4km. In my summer school holidays, I willgoto library every morning by walking. With my mp3 player, Walking time will not be a tedious time. I think exercise, studying, and resting in my home are the ideal one day course in summer holiday season.Well, I told you about my hobby.Walking.I/really/recommend/it/toU
강사 첨삭
Hi there! I had a good time reading your composition. It really inspires me. Walking alone changes your physical strength, that is so amazing. I will do that next time. Let\'s talk about this later. See you!
^^T.Sheela^..
Before I started walking, it was so hard for me to follow up the training course.
>>CORRECT
I didn\'t have a basic physical strength.
>>I didn\'t have the basic physical strength.
But now, there is no problem to participate in the practice.
>>But now, I don\'t have any problem participating in the practice.
Because of the walking effect, I even beat the freshman in my team on the ono-on-one game.
>>Because of the walking exercise, I beat the freshmen in my team on one on one game.
I was so proud of myself.
>>CORRECT
There\'s a reason why walking is a best sport which I could choose.
>>That is the reason why walking is the best exercise that I can choose.
My health is not good.
>>CORRECT
I have a problem in my leg.
>>I had a problem with my leg.
The length of my right leg is longer than my left leg.
>>CORRECT
And blood dosen\'t circulate well in right leg well.
>>And blood doesn\'t circulate well in my right leg.
So I can\'t exercise fiercely.
>>CORRECT
Because walking is a simple sports I could do that freely and for a long time.
>>Because walking is a simple exercise, I can do that freely for a long time.
Sometimes I walk to my town library.
>>CORRECT
The distance is 4km.
>>The distance is 4 km.
In my summer school holidays, I willgoto library every morning by walking.
>>During summer school holidays, I walk to our library every morning.
With my mp3 player, Walking time will not be a tedious time.
>>I always use my MP3 player so walking is not tedious.
I think exercise, studying, and resting in my home are the ideal one day course in summer holiday season.
>> I think exercising, studying, and resting in my home are the ideal activities in a summer holiday season.
Well, I told you about my hobby.
>>Well I told you about my hobby which is walking.
Walking.I/really/recommend/it/toU
>>I really recommend it to you.
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